"Never stop being the hero..."
A friend of mine recently told me he considered himself a nice guy. I could not have agreed with him more. He is a nice guy. However, a thought which has been bouncing around in my head of late is this - being nice is not enough. First you need to be good, and do good things.
Many of us can remember one of the more notorious serial killers of all time - Ted Bundy. During the 1970's, Bundy used his good looks and very "nice" personality to lure over 30 women to their deaths. Bundy gave the impression of being nice, but he was far from good. In fact, after his execution some referred to him as one of the most evil people ever.
That caused me to think about the latest rash of domestic violence. Even though there is a huge difference between serial killing and domestic violence, I believe there is some linkage. First off, let me make this confession - I do not understand. Call me narrow minded, but I do not understand what goes through the mind of a man who would hurt the ones he should love the most. It is antithetical to the way I was raised, it is antithetical to the way I believe. Yet today, experts in Minnesota are shocked and confused by the alarming number of domestic abuse cases, with many of them ending in the death of innocents.
My Dad always treated my Mother with respect and love. Held the door for her, had pet names for her, he was always kind to her. He did not beat or abuse my sister nor myself when we were growing up. I never feared my Dad, just loved and respected him. My Dad was my hero, and he was a hero to my Mother. That to me, was the norm for how a man should be viewed by his family.
You will have to excuse my vernacular just for a moment. If a man hits his wife or kids, or abuses them in any other way, throw his ass in jail. Forget the restraining order - they are just a piece of paper for someone who ignores the law. Many innocent women have died while being under the aegis of a restraining order. You hit your wife, girlfriend, live in, or kids, you have just violated your "man card" and deserve to lose all privileges, including your freedom.
So I say this to all men. If you are in a good relationship, stay there and keep it good. If you are in a bad relationship, either get help fixing it, or leave. If you feel yourself losing your temper where you might do something regrettable, walk out the door and get professional help. Our loved ones are the people we are here not only to care for, but also to protect. So first, be good to them. Next, be as nice as the situation merits. Finally, never stop being the hero, their hero. That is what being a man is all about.
That caused me to think about the latest rash of domestic violence. Even though there is a huge difference between serial killing and domestic violence, I believe there is some linkage. First off, let me make this confession - I do not understand. Call me narrow minded, but I do not understand what goes through the mind of a man who would hurt the ones he should love the most. It is antithetical to the way I was raised, it is antithetical to the way I believe. Yet today, experts in Minnesota are shocked and confused by the alarming number of domestic abuse cases, with many of them ending in the death of innocents.
My Dad always treated my Mother with respect and love. Held the door for her, had pet names for her, he was always kind to her. He did not beat or abuse my sister nor myself when we were growing up. I never feared my Dad, just loved and respected him. My Dad was my hero, and he was a hero to my Mother. That to me, was the norm for how a man should be viewed by his family.
You will have to excuse my vernacular just for a moment. If a man hits his wife or kids, or abuses them in any other way, throw his ass in jail. Forget the restraining order - they are just a piece of paper for someone who ignores the law. Many innocent women have died while being under the aegis of a restraining order. You hit your wife, girlfriend, live in, or kids, you have just violated your "man card" and deserve to lose all privileges, including your freedom.
So I say this to all men. If you are in a good relationship, stay there and keep it good. If you are in a bad relationship, either get help fixing it, or leave. If you feel yourself losing your temper where you might do something regrettable, walk out the door and get professional help. Our loved ones are the people we are here not only to care for, but also to protect. So first, be good to them. Next, be as nice as the situation merits. Finally, never stop being the hero, their hero. That is what being a man is all about.
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