The New Vehicles?

 

 

"If you are going to build a better mousetrap, you better first make sure it can catch mice..."

 

"Holy crap! What just happened?" This was the question one citizen from Euphoria asked another. "I don't know - it boggles my mind. How can people be so stupid!" replied his friend as he almost choked on his organic latte. They had just watched a story on MSNBC (a staple channel in most coffee houses in Euphoria) about the latest vehicle sales in America. The response after seeing this story ranged somewhere between "shock and awe" to total disgust.

 

Both of these fine young gents (who have been fully indoctrinated since the first grade) thought the President was going to get our country on track. If you have to have a car (and most people should not - they should walk, ride an incumbent bike, or take light rail), there are many three cylinder "smart cars" to choose from. In fact, one trendy car has a huge solar powered fan on the roof and rumor has it this little "beast" can get up to 100 mph on bio-fuel and corn oil. Big, gas drinking cars have ruined the planet - we now have global warming, global cooling and global everything. This is bad.

 

For some reason (which most people in Euphoria cannot understand), the top 5 selling vehicles in America (again) are 1) Ford 150 Truck 2) Chevy Silverado Truck 3) Honda Accord 4) Honda Civic and 5) Dodge Ram Truck. Three of the top five are trucks, most all of them having a V-8 engine! Why America, why?

 

To my simple friends who live in Euphoria, let me please try and explain this to you. In America, we work hard and play harder. When we go on vacation, we like to recreate. We like to fish, water ski, pull campers, and tour this great land in RVs. In short, we like to pull stuff behind our vehicle. You can't even pull a Radio Flyer with a Kyoto-mobile. We have heard all the crap that has been thrown our way about living vertical in the collective and getting rid of our toys. The sales figures in April showed our response to that logic. Not only were trucks in the top five (again), but their sales were up anywhere from 25% to 40% over the previous year!

 

So to you fine people of Euphoria, please feel free to social engineer yourselves to death. As for me and my peeps who live out here in God's country, we will continue to fish, camp, and explore to our heart's content. When I am driving my V-8 Chevy through gorgeous countryside this summer, I will savor every gas gulping minute of it.