Saturday, July 13, 2013

The Sharknado Nation!

 
 


"We can now actually make a movie so bad, it is good..."
 


Boy, did I screw up this week. I have nobody to blame but myself. I knew it was coming, I could have arranged my schedule, but I did not. I did not even set the DVR. No excuse - I missed the most talked about movie so far this season - I missed Sharknado
 
When I got up Friday morning and was watching the morning news shows, I did not think ANYTHING could eclipse the Zimmerman trial. I was wrong. Sharknado was the talk of the town. One of the shows I was watching said the number one tweet on Thursday night had to do with Sharknado. It was the birth pangs of a new cult classic. It might even end up being the next Rocky Horror Picture Show. That 1975 work of art has lasted far longer and has an following far larger than ANYONE could have ever imagined!

So how do we do this? How in the world can we continue to make movies so bad, they are actually good? I did not watch Sharknado because I forgot, I did not watch it because I thought it looked CHEESY! Shows you what I know. Most people that watched it laughed so hard they cannot wait until the SyFy  Channel airs it again. One of my FB friends said (tongue in cheek) this - the only thing fake in Sharknado was when the shark ate the man with the chain saw. When the man managed to cut his way out of the shark, my FB friend said "No chain saw starts on the first pull".

Okay - I will lay off Sharknado for a while. Lets talk about the new release this week, Pacific Rim. Already it is predicted to do better than The Lone Ranger, Man of Steel, and After Earth. All I know about Pacific Rim is some earthquake or something releases an "inter dimensional beast" (whatever the heck that is) to attack our cities. No problem - we will just build robots to fight this thing that are about the size of the Empire State Building. In the previews, one of our gigantic robots picks up an ocean freighter and smacks the "inter dimensional beast" in the chops. Does that save the world? I don't know - I have not seen the movie.

I am so glad we are not making classics or musicals anymore. We did however, make Les Misérables  into a movie. I saw it - it was excellent. However, to make it go, it needed all star acting, direction, cinematography, sound and everything else. Gone are the days when you can take a screenplay by a guy named Joshua Logan and make a box office hit called Mister Roberts. Gone are the days when you can take a gangster movie and make an award winning comedy out of it called Some Like it Hot. Gone are the days when you can take a story about a meaningless island during World War II and turn it into a timeless hit called South Pacific. No, today most of our movies are GIGO (garbage in, garbage out).

So to all who watched Sharknado on Thursday night and loved it, bless you! You watched the best of the bad this season. Whatever recipe we had to make timeless classics seems to be lost out of our Hollywood kitchen. We have become very good at making crap - lots and lots of expensive crap. But cheer up! The next time we have a tornado, grab your chainsaw, for something wicked this way comes.  On second thought, forget it - Something Wicked This Way Comes was a great movie based on the 1962 novel by Ray Bradbury.

 
 
 

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