Living in not too Realville

 

 

"I can't live here - I am afraid of heights!"

Rush always talks about being the Mayor of Realville. Realville is a mythical place where common sense and reality rule the day. If you are looking for the opposite of Realville, look no further than the 2040 landscape of Minneapolis painted by city planners.

To visit the City of Minneapolis in 2040, I will need a time machine. First off, to fast forward me 26 years, and also to reverse age me to a twenty something up and comer. As the planners had predicted, there are now 100,000 more young "Yuppies" just like me living in this patch of paradise. As the planners requested, none of us have cars - oh cars are soooo yesterday! In addition, to make room for all us additions, we need to fit nicely in the numerous high rises that seem to go all the way up to Mars.

Not to be Debbie Downer, but here are a few minor concerns I have with my new digs:

• Food - Where do I shop? Is there a Cub downtown? Is there anything affordable? I know the planners wanted to put in a Whole Foods for us to shop at, but holy smokes, you almost need a second mortgage to shop there on a regular basis.
• Transportation - Since the planners convinced me not to have a car, how do I get around? The light rail is fine for getting to other parts of the metro, but what if I want to go outside the metro. To an apple orchard? To the beach? To the North Shore? What the what?
• Kids - Even though the planners have not taken this into consideration, what if I find another twenty something "Yuppie" and we decide to get married? What if we then decide to have kids? Where will they play? Where do I educate them? The schools in Minneapolis continue to be toxic.
• Leisure Time - Okay. I now live downtown and work downtown. What can I do for leisure time that does not cost an arm and a leg. Can I go for a walk around the block without getting hit by a train, mugged or panhandled? Without a car, I am really stuck here, 24x7.

I am back now. Back to 2014 and living in the woods north of the metro. I have my truck, I have my land. My kids were able to go to school and play in the yard. To me, this is Realville. If you like vertical living with no car, the city planners have a deal for you. For me, no thank you.