Widow

 

 

"The worst thing we can do is leave our families ill prepared and in a mess..."

 

 

When most of us think of the word "Widow", we think of a black widow spider. However, in real life, there are many widow and widowers living among us. Many years ago in 1978, a woman named Lynn Caine wrote a book called Widow. It was a book which chronicled how her husband died and left her unprepared to face their world of finances, bills and obligations.

 

This past week, my wife and I were reflecting on all the blessings we received in 2013. As good as the year was, the one dark spot was the unexpected passing of her brother at age 56. He was a lecturer at a major college, living the good life. It was March and he was looking forward to the final snow melting so he could enjoy springtime. And then out of the blue, he was gone. Not expecting to die anytime soon, he had no paperwork prepared, no beneficiaries listed, nothing. Besides dealing with the sadness of his death, the family had to deal with a real mess in the aftermath.

 

Many families are caught up in the day to day busyness and the hub bub of daily life. Nobody likes to think of the unthinkable, so it often goes unattended. However, it is always there. Lurking around the corner.

 

In her book, Caine told about how she had wished her husband had shown her how the family finances worked. Where important papers were. Just plain what to do. Mixed in with the unexpected grieving, she was fighting for the sheer survival of the family.

 

Consider the following to make sure if you passed, the family could focus on only grieving and not have to deal with the anguish of financial survival:

• Make sure all your investments and savings have either joint ownership and/or beneficiaries listed.
• Talk to a lawyer and get "your papers" drawn up. The lawyer will advise you if you need a will or if your state has probate laws adequate enough to preclude that. In any event, make sure you have a living will and Power of Attorney documents on file.
• Make sure your spouse or adult children know where EVERYTHING is and how to take care of it. In particular, any and all obligations (like mortgage) which have firm due dates.
• If you don't have adequate liquid assets available, have a life insurance policy that will cover burial and funeral expenses. Funerals are very expensive these days - many can easily hit $10,000.
• Consider pre-paying for your and your spouse's funeral. You can plan your funeral as you like. Even some money down will help your survivors deal with this issue and expense.
• Leave a "road map". Any notes, directions, or whatever that will help your survivors cope with the aftermath of your passing.

I am sure there are more, but that is enough food for thought today. Of all things to think about, this is the most unpleasant. However, it is a part of life. What we learned from my brother-in-law's sudden passing is this - death is an uninvited, un-forecasted event. But it does eventually come. Be prepared and stay prepared.