A House Divided

 

 

 

"A house divided cannot stand..."

 

Abe Lincoln

A big lie exposed. Conservatives hate gay people. There might be a small minority of Conservatives who have distain for gays, or maybe even a visceral hatred, but I have never met one. Here is the issue in a nutshell - just because you don't agree with someone's lifestyle does not mean you should hate them. In fact, our faith teaches us to love. Love unconditionally. Love the ones we disagree with. Love the sometimes unlovable. Yes, even love our enemies.

When I first started working at Sperry Univac in the mid-70's, I carpooled with my boss and another man from our department. A few weeks into the carpool, my boss asked us if we minded adding to the carpool. He found out there was a person who was working for us as a tech writer on a temporary basis. And he needed a daily ride. His name was Ted, and he was an ordained Episcopalian Priest. He was doing some graduate work in St. Paul, and was working at our company for some extra money. One more thing - Ted was very, very gay.

My boss, the other man in the carpool, and myself were not gay. Not a bit. So how did we get along? Famously. We became very good friends. So good, that Ted invited us over (wives included) to his apartment for dinner. Ted was also a gourmet cook and a wine connoisseur. Plus, Ted was very, very smart. And he was very interesting to talk with. The fact he was gay was a total non-factor. It never came up. We were just good friends.

I am fine with the SCOTUS ruling yesterday for the purpose of civil unions between two consenting adults. I think gay people needed better legal status to protect their benefits and estates. This does not mean I condone the lifestyle. I do understand they are just people like me trying to figure out this journey through life.

What I am concerned about (and I have said this before), is twofold. First, this has become yet one more "wedge issue" to divide us a country. The second is the activist courts. Will they force churches to marry gay people within the church? My belief is simply this - if a church believes the gay lifestyle is antithetical to biblical teachings, it is their right not to marry them within the church. That is why civil unions are so important.

This issue is just the latest of many which is taking our melting pot of a country and turning it into a series of divisive topics which then become silos. Race, health care, wealth, politics, heritage, sanctity of life, sexual preferences are all put in silos right now. These issues have divided us. They have us yelling at each from across the great chasm. Talking past each other. Talking over each other. All that rather than talking to each other.

In my house, my political beliefs are not shared by my two daughters. My feeling on the gay lifestyle is definitely not shared with either daughter. We have other differences as well. However, that in no way diminishes the love I have for them. Or the love they have for their Mother and myself. We live in a house divided by some of our opinions - but also live in a house united by love. Is that not the way a pluralistic society is to operate? To disagree without being disagreeable?

Now that the courts have ruled, we must find a way forward. To keep our fragile democracy from becoming any more fractured. We must always be mindful of how we started - out of many, does come one. We continue to be the great American experiment. As Bono has said, the "idea" for the world to see. To copy. Maybe even to emulate.

We will find our way forward. We must. There is great evil which is waiting. Waiting for us to be weak. Waiting for our great house to split, to be divided. We must not, we can not, let that happen. For as Lincoln said, "A house divided cannot stand..."