Life on Ice Planet Hoth

 

 

 

"There isn't enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser..."

Hans Solo

Star Wars

As I age, I wonder why in the world I still live in Minnesota. I know, I know - it is the quality of life, it is the summers. However, now the summers are filled with other perils such as West Nile Virus (have no idea how that got here from Africa), Lyme Disease (at one time I thought that was related to my Gin and Tonics), and of course non-stop delays resulting from highway construction season (never really shovel ready).

Yesterday and last night, we had the biggest snowfall of the season. How bad was it? Our outside pet turkey (Tim) looked like he was totally fed up and getting ready to fly south. Of course with winter this year stretching all the way down to Texas, I don't know how far Tim would have to go. My driveway looks more like the Grand Canyon than a driveway. I can even hear my voice echo as I yell for help and rescue. Once again, I am taking on the persona of Per Hansa, rather than an increasingly Angry Bird.

Back to why I still live here. Is it the politics? This state is becoming as blue as California. In fact in Minneapolis, a Conservative is as rare as the Dodo Bird - in other words, extinct. We build trains that cost a fortune, and need need taxpayer subsidies just to run. We have a Met Council who unelected, has somehow assumed vast amounts of dictatorial power. We have a state income tax which is about to top 10%, while our neighboring state's taxes continue to go down. And we have a baseball team who is so good, they are getting ready to compete with the Mud Hens, the Millers, or the Saints from yesteryear.

I would like to move to northwest Florida. I could be close to my own peeps. Retired Navy, Conservative, and nice and warm in the winter. My wife had a bad experience in Florida when growing up (family vacation in the heat of summer), and she will be a hard sell. Truthfully, when I drive into Minneapolis these days, I hardly recognize it. It was been a "left leaning" city for decades, but now it is hard left. Everything has changed. I don't feel as if it is my city any longer. Pensacola on the other hand, I fit into.

Meanwhile, I sit here, marooned on Ice Planet Hoth, waiting for rescue. Rescue could take some time, as nobody in their right mind would venture here this time of year. In my first job out of college, I did relocation taxes for employees to transferred from out of state to take a job with the company I worked at. It was always a big joke, as the number of people who accepted offers in the dead of winter was just the opposite from the number of people who accepted offers in May and June. Why? This time of year this is a barren world, devoid of life and pleasure. Most outsiders could see that in an instant.

I am going to look at my travel brochures again this morning, and dream of white sandy beaches, and a sun that actually produces warmth. I will once again cuddle up with my space heater and wait for rescue, a rescue which might not come until July at the rate we are going....