The Executioner's Song...

 

 

"For any mouse in the house, she has become like the Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland!"

I begged her not to do it. I told her they are cute, innocent. However, her heart has been hardened. You see, the villains, the varmints, the vermin, have crossed her "red line". They have invaded her kitchen and are leaving unwelcomed souvenirs in their wake.

They come from all areas of the map. Some from the front yard, some from the back yard, and some sneak in from the garage. They are all makes and models. Some are grey, some are brown, some big and some little. For my wife, who has now replaced me as the house executioner, size and color no longer matter. If they are cute or not so cute - that does not matter either. "To the glue pads we go!" she shouted across the house. "I will put traps in every drawer, every counter, every cupboard!"

I glanced at her face and saw a look of determination I had not seen before. The next thing I expected to hear was the line from Alice in Wonderland - "Off with their heads!" No, it was "stick them to the glue strips" instead. And that is exactly what she has done.

As the former mouse catcher in the house, I can only look at her and marvel. Every day the body count goes up. This morning when I was gathering garbage to take out to the curb, I noticed my wife had scored another "two-fer". Oh yes - multiple catches have become her specialty. In fact, her record is four (all be they very small) in one glue trap. I can only look upon her with admiration - as well as gratitude I am not a mouse in this house!

So there it is - the executioner's song. Some day, this house will finally be purged of mice. Or Menards will finally sell out of glue traps. Until then, the beat goes on.