Going out Clean...

 

 

"And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors."

Matthew 6:12

Our former pastor would often say that church is a place to, "love and be loved, serve and be served, forgive and be forgiven." Those are great words spoken by a great man. The loving and serving are things that most people come to without much trouble, but the forgiveness thing is tough - very tough.

A few years ago, my wife and I took a class on forgiveness. How to forgive others, how to ask for forgiveness, and the toughest one, how to forgive yourself. It is amazing once we build a "case" against someone for an infraction that was committed or perceived, how hard it is to release it. Yes there is a reason why in many places the Bible teaches the importance of forgiveness.

Many years ago, there was a family dispute which lead to a long period of silence. It was uncomfortable as well as unsettling. Communication, when it happened, was strained. Hurtful words had been spoken and the initial issue had now grown into something far bigger. Why? Forgiveness. Nobody involved in this issue ever thought to call others and  simply say "I'm sorry". Reconciliation finally came, all was forgiven, and for the most part, forgotten. However, the real crime resulting from this episode was the valuable time which was lost. Time that can never be reclaimed. A simple "I'm sorry" or "I forgive you" at the beginning would have saved so much hurt and heartache. From this, a painful lesson was learned.

I have often thought as we go through life our sins against others accumulate, and stick to us like Velcro. It is so easy to offend - of this I know from painful experience. As I have grown older, I try to have my words edify instead of hurt. Every day however, I fall short. An older gentleman, speaking from years of accumulated wisdom, told me something very profound. At night when he prays, he asks first for forgiveness of the sins he knew he committed against both God and others. He then asked for forgiveness for sins he was unaware of, of which he believed were many. True words from a wise saint.

This past week we went to a fund raising event for a Hospice. During a testimonial from a volunteer, a story was told about how important it was for those in their final days or hours to have friends and families gather. Besides the reaffirmation of love and telling of stories, an important thing in the final gathering was to forgive - to forgive before it is too late. This is what I have called for some time "going out clean".

As much as I admire addressing the business of the heart in the final moments, I also think how much richer our lives would be if we did it as a daily routine. In other words,  rather than wait for our death bed, would it not be better to "go out clean" every night? To do it at the end of every day?  We could release the pain of unforgiveness by simply forgiving others as well as ourselves.

How important is forgiveness? It is important enough to be a cornerstone of The Lord's Prayer. It is as important today as it was 2,000 years ago. To truly to go out clean, we should live clean by not having the burden of unresolved forgiveness burden our heart thereby infringing on our most important relationships.