HI SAM

Caveat emptor

(Let the Buyer Beware)

When I was in high school, one of the big, exciting things that happened was a brand new Montgomery Wards was opening up in the neighborhood. This was huge. As far as after school employment went, the selection had been somewhat scarce. However, with this very large new department store opening up just walking distance from the school, opportunities would soon abound.

I started working there when I was just 16. My first job was split between the stock room, the dock and the Paint Department. It was good work, with not too many hours so it did not interfere with after school activities and school work. Besides being a good source of extra money, it was the social outlet that was really special. Some days it seemed as if half the high school was employed there. It was a great time to be alive.

One day the manager of the Paint Department asked me if I wanted to do some part time selling in addition to my stock duties. Heck yes I did! This was a good chance to learn how to interact with the buying public. I had to wear a tie, was given a "tally card", and also an odd looking 3 X 5 note card called a HI SAM. The HI SAM card, as explained to me, stood for "Have I Sold Additional Merchandise". It was an opportunity when someone bought a gallon of paint to try and sell them a paint brush as well; a tie with a shirt; salt with water softener. In other words, it was how to boost sales by selling on the margin. The thought was it could increase sales and the customer would barely know he or she had just bought something unintended.

One day an elderly gentleman came in to buy some paint. After I mixed up his paint, I tried to sell him a set of three tynex nylon paint brushes. He declined my offer as he preferred to use natural brushes and said he had plenty. I implored him to reconsider. "Sir, this is three brushes for barely more than one natural brush would cost". He looked at me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Son, nothing is a bargain if you don't need it". Ouch. Sale lost, but lesson learned. I never forgot customer exchange many years ago at a Montgomery Wards.

I think about the old HI SAM method of getting extra stuff every time I see a bill come out of either the House or Senate. The last two bills are excellent examples. The Super Storm Sandy Bill had more pork stuffed in it than a slaughter house. It was a $60B bill that should have cost half that much. It did have some honest relief components for people in need - however the desire to HI SAM the bill was just too much. The Fiscal Cliff Bill was the same way. A bill which should have been no more than 10 pages, turned out to be over 150, loaded with pork and tax credits. Yes, that bill was HI SAMed also. Just like I was taught many years ago, it is easy to add something unintended onto a sale if you do it the right way. The big difference between the way Montgomery Wards did it and the way bills in Washington grow is this - at Wards we tried to add things that made sense. What is added onto most bills in Washington have nothing to do with the bill itself. They are just earmarks and riders.

The next time you hear a bill is coming out of committee and getting ready for a vote, go online and look at it. Has it been HI SAMed? Is there all kinds of crap in there which shouldn't be? Who put it in there? We need accountability! No more earmarks, no more riders, no more "unintended purchases"! Most of all, we all need to remember the sage advice given to a young man in 1966 - "Son, nothing is a bargain if you don't need it".