The Awesome Power of the Tongue

 

 

 

 

^"The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body"

 

James 3:6

 

 

Once again last week, I was reminded how easy it is to ruin someone's day and how much harder it is to do just the opposite. I am talking about the power of what we say; how we use our tongue. This is not original thinking - it goes back millenniums. In fact, the Bible talks about the power of the tongue and how to use it. In James 3:6, we are reminded how evil the tongue can be and how it can control our entire body. On the other hand, Ephesians 4:29 instructs us how important it is to use our words to build others up (edification) rather than to tear them down.

Sounds simple, right? Not so much. I have seen it time and time again. I have done numerous times. The temptation to say something which ranges all the way from "not helpful" to just plain hurtful. The most amazing thing to me is how little it takes to make a difference in someone's life. A very subtle word or phrase can make a very big impact. "Have you lost some weight? You look great" can really step up someone's self esteem. "What is wrong with you?" when a minor mistake is made can impact someone's self confidence. Many times if a mistake is made, a very constructive way of addressing may be used without damage.

While in college, I took an elective class on how children learn. One of the books we read addressed how failure can become a learned event for a child. It was not really failing at something, as we all fail from time to time. It was how we recover from it, how input from others is received. Many times when a child fails, a consequence to that failure is the shame received from others. We have all seen it. A kid fails to get a hit, make a catch, or flunk a test, and someone might use the "L" word - "Loser". After a while, the pattern starts to form. "Everyone thinks I am worthless, I can't do anything". On the other hand, encouragement rather than discouragement often times has the opposite effect.

A mediocre team can beat a very good team because of the self confidence gained from well placed words from their coach. A very good teacher can reach most every kid in the class by using the proper words of encouragement. Just as failure is a learned trait, so is success. We have all heard the expression "success breeds success" - it is true. This goes for children as well as adults. Words mean things. A good team is made up of people who have been shaped by a strong coach or manager. Many leaders understand the power of words well placed.

When I was negotiating, I could say "no" a hundred different ways, only one of which was nasty. In truth, that holds true for most things we say. There are many different ways to say the same thing. Some words can hurt, some  words can help. The power each of us has is to use our words to help shape someone's day. And that, is the amazing power of the tongue.