Our Bad Marriage

 

 

"A house divided against itself cannot stand"

 

 

Abe Lincoln

From a 1858 Speech

My wife and I have what is referred to by some as a troubled marriage. In reality, it is a bad marriage. It did not start out that way - even though different, we celebrated those differences and got along. Over the years however, we became more and more intolerant of each other, and our differences became magnified. Sometimes we would get into arguments so vicious, other people thought we had a visceral hatred for each other. We would deny that of course, and constantly refer to each other as "my friend" when we were  in public.

Recently, I had coffee with a good friend. He had serious concerns about how my marriage - how was being seen by the rest of the community. You see, my wife and I are active in the community. We are seen as community leaders. Many thought we set the example on how a marriage should work. All this hatred and infighting has some in the community wondering the same thing - can our marriage survive? Are we coming to the end of what was once a wonderful undertaking? It appears this may be the case.

Before my wife reads this and has a stern talk with me, let me assure you this is an analogy of how our country works right now. My marriage is fine, very good in fact. The marriage between the Right and Left however, not so much. We have lost the ability to get along. Heck, we have even lost the ability to talk to each other - we talk over and through each other. We have devolved into a society where even the most mundane of issues become big disagreements. In other words, we have become dysfunctional as citizens.

Lets look at our debt for example. This should be a slam dunk issue - no arguments. However, it has turned into a huge fight with the end result being a potential government shutdown. Why? Positions. Everyone has a position. However, if I could look in each Representative's finances, I bet I could not tell the Right from the Left. Most probably balance their checkbooks regularly. It should be the same for our country. However, because of positions taken, lines drawn, it is not. Instead we are having another fight on this familiar issue, and everyone loses.

Food stamps. I would venture to say there is not one person in our government or otherwise, who wants to see anyone go hungry. Period. However, the SNAP Program is fraught with graft. About 20% of all dollars are lost to graft and inefficiency. Everyone knows it, but the two sides cannot agree on how to fix it. The result - the Right wants to force change by cutting 10% out of the SNAP budget. The Left is crying foul saying the Right wants to starve kids. Meanwhile, the problem goes unfixed with 20 cents out of every dollar being wasted in that vital program.

I fear for our country. I see damage occurring which may becoming permanent. The man with no experience, whom many thought would be a uniter, has been anything but. In fact, he is fanning the flames of discontent. A man who said he idolizes Lincoln, is now acting antithetical to his teachings and philosophy. As the world community watches our internal marriage founder, it appears to many the great experiment of 1776 might be coming to a tragic end.

I write this article with no satisfaction or joy, only concern and fear. Every marriage which does not succeed is usually the fault of both parties. The same holds true for our country. If we cannot love, honor and respect each other once again, the future will look very, very bleak for us all.