"No our Dark Side is not Darth Vader. Nor is it Darth Maul. It is much more sinister. It is a RINO masquerading as a conservative..."
It has not been a good week in Black Duck, USA. Others call it Mainstreet, USA. And that would be us. Once again, the majority in flyover country feel like a jilted bride. Left at the altar once again. Or putting it more clearly, many of us wonder if we still have a functioning government. A representative democracy. That Constitution thing.
The good news is we have purged the landscape of the villainous Ms. Nancy and "Dingy" Harry. We even got rid of that squish, John Boehner. Life was going to return to normal in the shire. We elected "Mr. Budget Hawk", Paul Ryan. A man who wears his green eye shades to bed. Of course, we still had "Uncle Mitch" in the Senate. He (we guessed) was better than Harry Reid by maybe an inch or two. However, our hopes were pinned on the new Speaker of the House.
The betrayal, the most recent victory of the Dark Side over the Force, was the passing of the "Goodyear Blimp Bill" (aka, the GFY 2016 Budget Bill). And we had the two usual excuses why we had to play ball with Emperor Palpatine. The "clock" was running out. And if we did not pay attention to the "clock", the government would (gasp!) shut down. And WE would get blamed once again. Please, just gag me with a spoon.
Out of fear and cowardness, we once again played into the Dark Side's hands. Our new savior of the Force, our own Hans Solo, turned out to be nothing more than a Sith Warrior in disguise. And legions of "conservative" members of the House who pledged "if elected, my first action will be to help defund ObamaCare", are nothing more than co-conspirators to the Sith. And worse than anything else, rather than govern mired in principle as we hoped Republicans would, instead they are cloaked in fear. Sometimes, it seems they are even afraid of their own shadows.
The Emperor has now left for a well deserved end of the year vacation in Hawaii. He is exhausted from running circles around our Constitution as well as spending all kinds of money we do not have. Not to worry however - his newest Sith will still be in town. Protecting the Kingdom. As for us out here in the frozen, cold, and dark countryside, we will just keep working and feeding the pig. And who is protecting our interests? As they say in Jersey, "Forget about it!"
Just like in Star Wars Episode 7, methinks we need a new cast of heroes. Our old cast who we thought could protect us, have turned so far to the Dark Side, there might be no turning back...
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