Monday, February 27, 2017

Spending the day in misery...

"But, we made to to Iowa. And as much as I try to avoid Iowa, I have never been happier to see this Hawkeye State." 

Anyone who knows anyone (not all people) who are from Missouri, often refers to their state as "Misery" instead of Missouri. When I first heard that term, the first thing that popped into my head was "ouch!". I mean, quite often I hear of my state referred to as "Minnesnowta" (because from time to time it does get hammered with snow), or the "Land of 10,000 Taxes" (because it is), but besides for the winter weather and Democrat induced taxes, I really do love the land of my birth. I would never refer to my state as just plain "misery".

Five years ago, we had to drive through Missouri twice - once going down, and once coming back home. Both ways it was brutal. It makes driving through North Dakota on a January day seem like being in Nirvana. So this year on the way down to Florida, I added a day onto our driving. We went all the way down I-35 to Oklahoma City and then on I-44 all the way east to Arkansas and then Mississippi. However, this year because we were gone so long, my wife said, "Make it quick!" coming home. Translation = we had to drive through "Misery" once again.

We spent last night on a Navy base just north of Memphis. We left early this morning (before colors), and headed west towards Arkansas. We did not mind Arkansas a month ago, and were looking forward to a return visit. But alas and alack, we were only in Arkansas for exactly one hour. Then we saw the sign we had been dreading - "Welcome to Missouri". I almost threw up in my mouth.

The first hour was brutal. I now know what Neil Armstrong thought when he set foot on the Moon. Okay, the next few hours have to be better. I looked at my GPS and saw we had more miles to go than dollars in national debt. I tried to look at something different as we drove, talk about something different, listen to something different - but then it happened. Both of us started to slip into highway hypnosis. 

About 3pm our GPS guided us onto a "shortcut" up into Iowa. Anything, I screamed! I will take it! Big mistake. We went from divided highway, to non-divided highway to road, to dirt road. And when I looked at the GPS, it said we still had 90 miles to go. My wife said she was getting a headache from all the dust, turns and hills. So she checked out for a while. I wanted to also, until I remembered I was driving.

To make a long story short, towards the end of the journey we went through some areas which made the movie "Deliverance" look like downtown Manhattan. It was beyond brutal. But, we made to to Iowa. And as much as I try to avoid Iowa, I have never been happier to see this Hawkeye State.   

Tomorrow morning the Bird flies home. Mom (and I) are missing the little guy, so the earlier the better. Been a good trip. More stories to come. Of course, there well also be my opinions about the the mayhem going on within our politics. 

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