Lord of the flies (killer)

"I often wonder if flies, ticks, wasps and hornets were invited onto the Arc, or if they stowed away. In any event, one way or another, they are here now, and are a pain." 

Oh my! Am I bad, or what? Up at the campground, it is a cornucopia of all kinds of different flying things. And I am not talking about birds! We have flies in all different sizes. We have wasps galore. We even had a bald-faced hornet land on my arm last week. However, due to the Bird's cat-like reflexes, I killed him right out on his home turf. He was hard to kill however - tough little buggers.

I am armed to the teeth. For the outside, I have the ubiquitous wasp and hornet spray. Just about every store around has giant displays with plenty to go around. Over the summer, I have dispatched dozens, maybe hundreds of wasps at home and the camper. We also bought a wasp and hornet trap. It works like a charm! Coming back to the camper yesterday, we had our trap hanging from our canopy, with maybe a hundred or so corpses making a real mess of my trap. 

At the start of the season, my wife and I found a "tennis racket" for killing flies on sale at Harbor Freight. These things are beyond slick! It kills them more dead that dead, because it has batteries in it which electrifies the mesh on the racket. When you hit a fly (with the power switch on), you see a flash, hear a "pop" and maybe, just maybe, you might find a small piece of the former fly. My wife still uses the old-fashioned fly swatter, but I like the new technology. When my wife thinks she has killed one, we need to search for the corpse to make sure. When I kill one with my electro death swatter, there is never a doubt!

I know. Every year it is like this in the late summer and early fall. Flies have reproduced, and there are a zillion of the small ones buzzing around. Every time I come into the camper, there are one or two which follow me in. I warn them in advance - coming into the camper is a one-way street. Death awaits them in there. They ignore me. Maybe it is because they have no ears. In any event, they soon find out I am good for my word. 

I often wonder if flies, ticks, wasps and hornets were invited onto the Arc, or if they stowed away. In any event, one way or another, they are here now, and are a pain. Tonight, I am cooking up some steaks on my Oklahoma Joe tabletop grill. That should be quite a magnet for all kinds of unwanted flying pests. But don't worry - they don't call me the Lord of the fly killers for nothing! This week, between the fair and the campground, I have really earned my stripes!